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There’s a certain expression that people make when they are in the shower. That is, it is an expression that usually only occurs in the shower. It doesn’t happen often, but I am sure that we have all produced it at least once in our lives. What’s interesting is that, despite the probability that this expression has been produced billions of times, I would be willing to bet that few people have ever seen it. Last night, I had that opportunity.
I took a shower last night since we had been at the gym and wanted to avoid stink-bed. Now, shower face requires two specific criteria to be fulfilled. Firstly the user has to expect hot (or at least warm) water from the shower head. Second, and this is key, the user must instead receive water at a temperature more suited to polar bears or distant asteroids. We have a large mirror along the wall of our bathroom opposite the shower, so I was able to witness my shower face as it happened and analyze its makeup, which I will now present for your benefit.
The first thing I noticed about shower face is that it is a mix of several emotions, and I would like to posit that there are a total of three. The first two, I would suggest, are universal, and the third may vary depending on your personality. First we have shock (What the–!) and outrage (How dare there be cold water!?). Simple enough. For this test subject, the expression was produced by a furrowing of the brow and the jaw dropping and frowning at the same time, conveniently mimicked by the emoticon D: I trust your imagination can produce a more accurate facsimile.
The third stage of shower face must surely vary, in the same way that some people like jice-cream*, and others do not. For myself the final expression was a kind of mad delight. Not the angry kind of mad, the scientist kind. I almost cackled with glee as I pressed myself back against the shower wall, trying to avoid the frigid downpour. I suspect it was because of the absurdity of the situation, but it may also be related to the fact that I am the kind of person that enjoys “scary surprises”. This would also make sense with what I believe the other, theoretical, third-stage emotion must be; abject misery.
I am sure you will have no doubt imaging someone - maybe yourself! - who would nearly be reduced to tears by such a situation as they frantically reach for the dials. I posit that such a person would also fall under the category of those who do not enjoy scary movies and other thrills. I think I may be on to something here.
***
A few days ago I was sorting through my bookshelf, putting aside those that I would attempt to sell or give away before we move. During the triage I came across and old “King James Bible” that I had collected several years ago. As a joke, my girlfriend held it out to me and asked “do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth–” and so on. I placed my hand on the book and replied “I swear that there is no god!”
And then something funny happened. Neither my girlfriend nor I are believers, but immediately after I said that, a look of shock overcame her. I could see in her face a kind of internal struggle so I asked her what was wrong. She said “I know it doesn’t make any sense, but I’m actually worried!”
We laughed about it afterwards (fake lightning-bolt sounds included), but I thought it was an interesting reminder of the strong mental hold religious superstitions have on our conscious. For something like “the sanctity of the bible” to have been so deeply ingrained into our minds so that even a completely sane individual, fully in command of her mental faculties gets goosebumps when a heathen like me “blasphemes”…
If anything, I think that should at least be a reminder of the level of brainwashing that religions can produce.
*Jello and ice-cream in the same bowl. I recommend cherry and vanilla.
Posted by Aaron on February 4, 2008, 10:40 am permalink top | general
Ooh.. you’re in trouble now boy!
Oh leave him alone Dad! He’s doesn’t know any better!
So Juggling Mike is “God” and OnePunch is “Jesus”? How cute
This is a weird post. The whole thing from subject matter down to the exposition and right across to the bible thing…just weird.
but, I like it.
and treacleboy, with my haircut, I’ve never been mistaken for Jesus or (Hey-Zeus)…
Who is this “Juggling Mike”?
He is definately not God, but I’m sure he is quite a handsome devil…
Definitely not my usual kind of entry. I just had a couple of weird things I wanted to write about, but neither of them deserved their own post, so I’m offloading here.
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